For some, they’ll be avoided at all costs out of fear and uncertainty. For others, they’re a solemn, peaceful place to honor those who’ve passed on. And for others still, they’re a wealth of information, directly connecting us to much of our history as human beings.
Whatever perspective you find yourself under, cemeteries—and death itself—are a natural part of life.
So, unless you’re incredibly fortunate, you’ve visited a cemetery before, and will likely do so again.
Here are some tips on cemetery etiquette to remember the next time that you visit.
Follow the Cemetery’s Rules and Regulations
This should go without saying, but every cemetery is different, so be sure to check beforehand what the rules and regulations are for the one that you’re planning to visit.
You can often find these on the cemetery’s website, but if it’s a much older cemetery, they may even be posted at the entrance gates.
Keep the Hours of Operation in Mind
While it might be an entertaining idea for some to visit a cemetery after hours, nothing is worth being arrested for trespassing over.
Keep in mind that most cemeteries are open to the public from dawn until dusk only.
Drive With Care
When driving through the cemetery, drive slower and more cautiously than you normally would. Be sure to also stay on the roadways and off the grass, even when parking. The last thing that you want to do is unintentionally drive over a grave.
And remember to watch for people who may cross your path. They could be in the midst of their grief and not paying any attention to their surroundings.
Be Mindful of the Graves
Sometimes it’s unavoidable depending on the cemetery, but generally, there are pathways and surrounding sections of grass that are meant to prevent you from disturbing the graves themselves.
So don’t sit, stand, jump, or walk across the graves. They’re meant to honor the memory of someone who lived and was loved.
Graves are special, expensive, and even sometimes depending on their age, fragile enough to crack or crumble. Don’t be the one to damage them.
Monitor Your Volume and Respect Other Mourners
People at the cemetery are likely visiting a deceased loved one and may be overwhelmed with emotion, praying, meditating, or spending time in contemplation.
Respect their needs by keeping your speaking volume low and avoiding talking on the phone or playing loud music. If you can, keep your phone on vibrate or silent to keep distractions at a minimum.
Also, keep in mind that many people who are visiting a loved one’s grave likely don’t wish to interact with others. If you’re nearby or passing them, it’s okay to smile or wave, but don’t try to start a conversation unless they seem like they want or need someone to talk to.
Likewise, if a funeral or graveside service occurs while you visit, steer clear and leave them plenty of room. It’s inappropriate to interrupt for any reason!
Keep An Eye On Children and Pets
Bringing your child to a loved one’s grave is a wonderful way to help them come to terms with the reality of death and learn about their grief.
But before you bring your child to the cemetery, have a discussion with them about how they’re expected to behave. They’ll need to be quiet and respectful of others and they shouldn’t be running around the cemetery, climbing on the graves, or causing any general disruption.
Likewise, some cemeteries even allow you to bring your pets! If the cemetery that you’re visiting does allow them, though, keep them on a leash at all times. Not everyone likes animals, so an excitable pet may not be a welcome visitor for some people.
Also be sure to clean up after your pet, as you don’t want to leave an unwelcome surprise for someone visiting their loved one!
Bring an Offering
Depending on your beliefs, culture, and values, bringing an offering is a wonderful way to honor the deceased.
This can be anything from the standard flower bouquet, to a sentimental item such as a framed picture or toy, to an actively working offering, such as food, drink, or coins.
Tidy Up After Yourself and Others
It’s no secret that cemeteries are sacred and honored places.
So remember to not leave any trash behind! However it is that you decide to spend your time at the cemetery, just be sure to clean up after yourself and secure any decorations that you wish to place.
And, if you want to go the extra mile, try to spend a few spare minutes cleaning up any litter that you find. It doesn’t matter if it’s your mess or not—the cemetery grounds and the people that rest within deserve to have a clean and beautiful environment.
All in all, the biggest takeaway from the tips shared above boils down to one of the most basic human rights that every one of us deserves—respect.
Remember that doing your part to respect other guests, respect the deceased, and respect those who take care of the grounds is vital in preserving the calm and reverence of a cemetery.
Do you know any other etiquette tips that aren’t mentioned above? Share in the comments below!