Finding Productivity in Grief

Well, it’s official…spring has arrived!

The weather’s warming up, the flowers are starting to bloom, and the aura of the new season can make a person feel super energized!

Or…maybe not?

If you’re like me, the change of the season has brought on anything but energy; rather, there are a lot of overwhelming thoughts and feelings that make me want to stay in bed all day, because imagining all of that hustle and bustle to find a “better you” or a “better this” or a “better that” is just too much.

Sound familiar?

If so, try some of these tips on how to be productive in grief.

Stick to a Daily Routine

As humans, we’re all creatures of habit.

So having a daily routine can be extremely helpful in many ways, including several positive health benefits.

But most importantly, it can be helpful in times of uncertainty and pain.

This is because having a routine creates a wonderful amount of structure, which then in turn gives you a better sense of control. And, in case you didn’t already know, control’s something that all of us grievers desperately yearn for.

Now that doesn’t mean to sit down right at this moment and plan out every day for the rest of your life.

Start small! Add simple activities into your everyday schedule, such as setting aside ten minutes to meditate or giving up an hour of watching television to go on a relaxing walk instead.

Little by little, you’ll suddenly start to find yourself having a lot more satisfying days than unsatisfying ones.

Write Everything Down

When you’re grieving, sometimes completing the most basic of tasks can become really difficult, really quickly.

Even now as I sit here writing this post, I’m worried that it isn’t good enough or that it won’t actually be helpful for my fellow grievers, which makes me feel totally unmotivated to even write it to begin with.

Isn’t that ironic? I’m feeling unproductive about writing a post about being productive.

So you might be wondering just as much as I am: how exactly can I combat these feelings?

A great way is to write things down! Especially specific goals and/or deadlines that you might have.

For example, if you want to reorganize your loved one’s belongings, create a list of microtasks that covers everything that needs to be done in order to accomplish the overall goal. Then give yourself a deadline to get it done. That way, you’re less likely to give up when you begin to feel overwhelmed.

If needed, you can also provide little reminders as a way to hold yourself even more accountable. These reminders can be anything; sticky notes placed around your house, alarms on your phone, a quick text from a supportive friend, or any other method that works best for you.

According to a study conducted by psychologist Dr. Gail Matthew, you’re 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down.

So, for lack of better words: get to writing!

Take Breaks When You Need To

This might seem like an obvious one, but more often than not I recognize in both myself and in those around me that we could all really use a break.

Do you even remember the last time that you took a break? And I mean, like, a real break?

Unfortunately, our world today runs on this constant, fast-paced, chaotic loop; we always have to be someone and be somewhere and be doing something, or else we’re considered a lazy you-know-what with nothing to offer.

Not only is this unfair, but it’s simply untrue.

Because while it’s important to get things done and to feel accomplished, it’s just as important to rest when you need to.

This might look different from person to person, but we can all benefit from some form of a break. It could be taking a vacation, reading your favorite book again, whipping up that new recipe that you’ve been dying to try, going for a run, or relaxing in a hot bubble bath with the lights off.

Whatever taking a break looks like for you, please make the time to do it. And do it often.

Surround Yourself With a Great Support System

Sometimes, it can be really awkward to bring up the subject of your grief to those that you love. Usually, it’s because of the fear that they won’t want to help or that they won’t accept you.

But it’s a fact of life: in the hardest of times, we all need family and friends that we can lean on.

So whenever possible and whenever you feel comfortable to do so, accept the offers of help, be specific about your needs, share what you’re thinking or feeling, seek counsel from your loved ones or a professional, and try to continue the activities in your life that made you feel good as much as you can.

If you take the time to look around, you might be surprised to know that many, if not all, of your family and friends are waiting to help.

All they need is the okay to do so.

How do you stay productive in grief? Share one way in the comments below!

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Resources:

“A Support System Is Just a Call Away.” VITAS Healthcare. Web. 31 Mar. 2021, https://www.vitas.com/family-and-caregiver-support/grief-and-bereavement/grief-support/a-support-system-is-just-a-call-away.

Cherry, Kendra. “The Importance of Maintaining Structure and Routine During Stressful Times.” VeryWell Mind. 21 Apr. 2020. Web. 31 Mar. 2021, https://www.verywellmind.com/the-importance-of-keeping-a-routine-during-stressful-times-4802638.

Rinkel, Jeremy. “Five Ways to Stay Productive During Depression.” NAMI. 04 Apr. 2016. Web. 31 Mar. 2021, https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/April-2016/Five-Ways-to-Stay-Productive-During-Depression.